Left Behind
by corsairr
Summary: After Shepard is killed in action during the final blow against the Reapers, Jacob goes to her grave to cope with his mistake. In the meantime, he runs into James.


Earth had become the most solemn place in the galaxy. There was an infinite gloom lingering over the ashy city, and the people of Earth were no happier than the state of the city. It seemed as if they were robots, living a mechanical and rigid life and following the same exact agenda every day. They'd drag their selves out of bed, go to work, come home, and eat their dinner alone while they coped with the grief of losing so many loved ones.

The galaxy had won, but at what cost? Generations from now, the stain the Reapers had left behind would vanish, and they would become just one more historical documentary that got twisted and turned so many times in the fairy tales that it no longer harbored the truth. That was what Jacob feared the most, as he stood in front of the solemn gravestone before him.

Korey "Gale" Nyeera Shepard  
April 11th, 2154 - November 7th, 2187

There was no quote to accompany the gravestone. The squad couldn't come up with one that did Shepard justice, so they decided on leaving it blank and told themselves Shepard wouldn't want something as corny as an inspirational quote associated with her anyway. She never was a sentimental woman.

Jacob scanned his eyes across the rest of the graveyard. There were too many for his liking, and it had become so crowded that the people who owned it had to start burning bodies, even if that wasn't what the person wanted. Jacob didn't think Shepard deserved to be tossed into a low-profile graveyard filled with people who played absolutely no part in the war. He preferred she was buried next to the others in her crew who hadn't made it.

His heart started aching again. The death toll was unimaginable. With Shepard and Anderson dead, along with most of the Council, the galaxy was looking at yet another war. He didn't think they could get any more daft. It hurt him and anyone who knew Shepard to see that the peace she fought for was nearing an end this soon.

The day he received news of Shepard's death was the day he confirmed he was still insanely in love with her. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to get over her, and damned if he didn't feel stupid for doing what he did. Brynn had suffered a miscarriage, but he still didn't have the heart to leave her, and his dead child haunted his dreams and blessed him with insomnia.

Much like Shepard, he had nothing but the Normandy crew now. What was left of it, anyway. Brynn was growing more distant from him with each day that passed and he was left to wait for the day she cut ties altogether. He wondered if the Normandy would even accept him at this point, given what he did to Shepard. It sent a wave of aching all over his body, knowing that he'd never received Korey's forgiveness before she died.

And he'd like to say she'd "want him to move on," but he wasn't so sure about that. Korey was unlike the old and wise Alliance heroes. She was cold, reckless, unforgiving, merciless. Jacob deemed himself a fool for believing she could ever forgive him in the first place.

He scoffed, his eyes running up and down the simple gravestone. Was it so small and unnoticeable at Korey's request, or were the Alliance truly as rude as their reputation? Jacob heard footsteps approaching him from behind and out of instinct, he put his hand on the pistol in his belt as he turned around to face the intruder.

James Vega was standing before him, in as much shock as Jacob himself, with a bouquet of blue and gold flowers in his hands. Alliance colors, Jacob noticed instantly. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the body-builder. The only reason he even knew James was because of the Citadel party Shepard through shortly before she was killed in action.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jacob pensively.

"Paying respects to the Commander, what else?" James ignored him and walked past him, hesitating before slowly resting the flowers right before the gravestone. Jacob let him go without questioning it.

He had a feeling James' bitterness towards him was not completely unwarranted. It wasn't unlikely for Shepard to vent to her crew mates about what Jacob did to her. James straightened up and looked back towards Jacob, the dark circles under his eyes piquing Jacob's attention.

"Didn't expect to find you here. I was sure you'd ditch right after the funeral."

"Just because I'm not romantically involved with her doesn't mean I stopped caring about her." snapped Jacob.

"Uh huh," James shifted his weight to one hip and crossed his arms. "So how've you been? I haven't heard about you since Shepard stormed through the Normandy cursing your name after we left Gellix."

Jacob went quiet as that sunk in. He was brought back to their meeting on Gellix and he remembered with a shock of pain through his heart how pained Shepard's expression was when he'd told her about Brynn. If he was being completely honest, what he had with Brynn at the beginning was just a fling; something to release tension. But when she'd told him she was pregnant, how could he leave her? And telling Shepard he still loved her would have only complicated things.

So he'd stayed with Brynn, and he'd learned to love her and his on-the-way child. He was happy. Sort of. Every night since the moment he fell in love with Shepard, he prayed that she would make it out of this alive and find the happiness she deserved. Even if she wasn't with him, even if he was the one that died, she would get her happy ending.

But the worst always happened to the best of them. "I've been better," he answered quietly, "you?"

"I've been better."

They shared a solemn moment of silence, watching Shepard's motionless grave. There was a statue of her in the middle of the town square, and an entire memorial wall dedicated to her, but her actual grave got nothing but this pathetic stone rectangle. Inhaling sharply, Jacob turned his head towards James.

"Do you know if she ever forgave me?"

James arched a brow curiously. "No. She didn't talk about you much after that initial blow-up. Kind of shut herself off from the rest of us."

Korey had been a tough and thick-skinned woman, but Jacob and anyone who knew her past the facade she put up for others knew that she was just as fragile as the rest of them. It brought them comfort to know that their commander was perfectly human. It was too bad Korey hated showing that she was.

And that alone resulted in a lot of built up anger. Jacob tried to bring her as much solace as he could without setting off her grenade, and it hurt to know he'd caused her to retreat further into her shell. He nodded stiffly. "And you? Do you hate me?"

James shifted uncomfortably. "...No, I don't hate you. Shepard didn't either."

The dubious tone laced into his voice didn't escape Jacob. But he nodded anyway as a sign of acceptance towards James and sighed. "Alright. I better go." They exchanged a worn look, then Jacob clapped him on the shoulder and turned away without looking towards Shepard's grave. He knew if he spared just one more look towards it, it would be his undoing.


End file.
